What is this place?
Am I a failure?
I wish I could say I was back and never fell off track. That would be a lie. A long time ago I let weight loss consume me. It was all I thought about. However, when I got stuck I began to hate everything about the weight loss journey. I began to think if I gave myself a break, became less involved, felt normal again, it would maybe some how work itself out. I knew how to lose weight, surely I’d never let myself gain weight. This isn’t the case. The exact opposite happened. I slowly started putting on weight. I kept putting off getting back on track. I often came on tumblr and silently cheered you guys on. I looked longly at my old pictures in which, at the time, I had still felt huge. I even told myself I wasn’t meant to be skinny. I dug myself into this hole of embarrassment and shame. The more weight I put on, the less I felt like even being in public. A break from thinking about my weight never happened. It consumed me more than ever. I never thought I’d be back to this point. No one ever said anything to me about gaining weight, but I felt their quiet judging eyes. I don’t blame anyone but myself. I chose to eat and not work out. I’m not asking for pity. I’m simply giving myself a cold hard splash of reality. I’m holding myself accountable. I’m not perfect. I may never be definition “skinny,” but I will certainly learn to be healthy.
I apologize for all of these random thoughts. I’m promising myself I will be back to keeping up with tumblr. For my New Year resolution I’ve also decided to vlog every day this year. In case you’re interested in seeing me and all of my awkwardness, I’ll leave the link below.
I’ve missed you all.
My sisters and I got “Live Laugh Love” tattooed on our shoulders. We each got one word written in our Mom’s handwriting. I love it!
Can I give up being overweight for lent?
Does it work like that?
My dad doesn’t think I’ll wear this… Little does he know it’s my new favorite hat! (Taken with instagram)
Just pushed myself so hard that I had to stop and throw up. A drink of water and I immediately got back to running. Now feeling like a champ. These are the kinds of things that make me feel proud.
I will conquer running.
I will not stop.
I’d rather lose 10 inches than 10 pounds
The scale lies. Fact.
- Tomorrow will be different
- I’m just going to have one
- My clothes seem to be shrinking
- Yes! I’ve lost weight, I’m a size __ at Gap
- It’s water weight
- McDonalds is my Sunday treat
- It’s because my body is in starvation mode
- It’s too cold to run
- I’m too lazy to cook vegetables
- Screw it. I’m…
Just a little different..
** this doesn’t happen over night. This is about 14 months worth of progress. Make changes, see results.
This girl. Cannot get enough of her or her blog. She is AMAZING.
Losing weight is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Never have I felt so successful yet so much like a failure on a daily basis.
It’s a long way away, but it’s a start.
Just ran 2 miles up hill in the windy and freezing cold. Maybe crazy, but well worth it. Day 1 of my long journey to a half marathon = complete. (Whaaaat! Am I crazy? Perhaps)
Currently on Day 2 of p90x lean. This is going to be a long battle, but I am more than ready!
2 weeks ago from NYE to Today…. Definitely didn’t realize how bad the holiday weight had gotten…so glad to be back on track.
A bit blurry…but for old times sake. Finally getting back to where I was before the holidays. Plus stripes are no longer the enemy…gasp!